And in the beginning, there was Blog, and he said go spew venom from hence and yonder and we will all live as one nation and one people. So the people spread their fingers and began to type and create what has become the most divisive.

My name is Jack. When I was young I had acne scars on my face so I became a model. At the age of 38, I stopped being attractive altogether so I became to TV talk show host. The TV people said, we don’t like you, you are old, fat, and people hate you, they really really hate you. So, I became one of the top agoraphobic web surfers in the world. I have done it all, seen it all, and know it all, yet have never left the comfort of my home or the pleasure of my pipe. I asked myself, other than an education, what does Andrew Sullivan have that I don’t. I was to poor and high to go to college, so what I lack in grammatical skills, I more than make up for by having very smart friends.

I was living in West Hollywood in 1992 when I was given a random body fat test that I failed and was extradited back to Texas. Texas is in the Bible belt, and Dallas is it’s butthole. The managing editor of our alternative newspaper prayed away her muff diving ways to push home to point that I live in Neocon Valley. They don’t take kindly to an aging gay TV gasbag questioning their interpretation of the good book. I have been kicked off almost every blog in the state of Texas. Thus PumpUpTheBlog was born. A one stop blog for all where we do all the surfing for you. The very first website with a Blogger Jockey to keep everyone updated of what is going on with some of the more popular sites that cover politics, pop culture and the underground. We have assembled a group of contributors that are as diverse as any food court in any mall. Pissing and venting has become a way of life for me and I want all of you to think of PumpUpTheBlog as your place for public urination.