How White Can One White House Be?

1000 Yards of White Skin

I had to adjust the brightness on my television while watching the CNN You Tube Rupuke debate the other night. I had never seen so much white assembled in one room. I ended up wearing a pair a dark sun shades to dim the view of Anderson “Katrina” Coopers hair and hundreds of yards of the whitest white skin on earth. This must be why it is called a race for the White House.

While this debate began as a usual Rupuke hate fest, it ended up being one of the campiest productions on TV since the strike started. Of course I have yet to see Bill Moral Orally interview ALF yet. These dudes got so caught up in to out hate each other that I thought I was watching a Christopher Guest movie.

One of my favorite hate mongers on all time is Duncan Hunter, whose very name alone emits such butch overtones one might mistake him for a porn star. Duncan is mighty proud of his big wall. Yes, he built a wall, (or had it built, he is not that butch) that is several hundred feet long to protect his fellow white man from the evil Mexican doers. If elected President, Duncan has promised to build a big roof and big doors to go with the wall. In other words, Hunter is going to build one big motherfucking house to protect us all. Fox Reality TV network will televise the project, strike or no strike.

I also love Mittens Romney. Say what you will, but he is one handsome fucking Mormon. I have such a fantasy of pulling his pants down, bending him over my knees, taking a hit of poppers and having him beg Daddy Jack for a spanking. I did find it a little disturbing to read that he was out playing “touch” football with his boys the day of the debate, or was it rugby, or hamster hunting? You can insert your sport of choice as Mitt aims to please according to the voter’s geographical taste.

Then there was John McCain who will soon become the spokesmodel for Aricept. Did you know that John McCain was held captive? Let me repeat it…Did you know that John McCain was held captive? While he repeats this over and over , and over, he fails to mention that it was during the Civil War. There is no need for Viagra for this neocon, warmongering alone gives him a hard on that will keep his version of Marla Maples happy for minutes.

Then there is Ru9y Gui11ani. He thinks you should vote for him because he knows how to put on a face mask and walk in front of the cameras at the same time. Brilliant! He thought he was going to have the punch line of the hatemongering night when he made a comment about Mitten’s having a “sanctuary mansion”. He was so proud of that line, which one can assume was provided to him by Bruce Villanch, that he repeated over and over, interspersed with the frequent NINE ONE ONE. Of course the Mayor and his buddies were rewarded big time for their efforts with tons of money and pounds of poon tang. Let’s face it, Gulliani may carry a big stick, but he has a face to protect it.

Tom “who gives a rat’s ass” Tancredo announced his pending heterosexual marriage to Lou Dobbs. They are trying to make it into the Guinness Book or Records by being the first most hateful duo since Tom Delay and Barbara Bush.

Then there is Ron Paul who the others snicker at. Yet he is the only one standing with a lick of sense. He has done more than anyone else to remind people that the state of Texas isn’t completely full of assholes.

The irony was that in on this stage of supposed machismo, not one of these men could handle the ultra-soft balls that were thrown their way. Perhaps it was because they all lack a set of their own.

The above views are those of this writer and should no way be interpreted as fact, nor should the author be sent to Guantanamo Bay for having and expressing such thoughts.