Shooting Gannons

James Guckhart, a.k.a. Jeff Gannon, is a true mystery man. While Gannon's name may ring a bell, you may have a tough time remembering his scandal. We have been having so much fun with hypocrisy lately that we tend to forget some of our earlier pioneers and discard them like reality show contestant. You have heard them say that a good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find. Jeff Gannon is a hard man. Mr. Gannon became part of the White House Press Corps, reporting for Talon News, which at the time of his entry into the White House, no such news organization existed.

His questions in the press briefings were considered a little right of Fox News. His fellow journalist became suspicious, when during one conference he asked President Bush, making a reference to the economy, “You’ve said you are going to reach out to the Democrats; how are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?" While seemingly conservative Gannon was playing the staunch Republican journalist, John Aravosis from Americablog brought to light that the hunky journalist had been doubling as a cyber hooker and stated that Gannon's nude photos appeared on more than one website. To add fuel to the Gannon mystery, he seemed to have free reign as far as coming and going from the White House, signing in, but rarely signing out.

In addition Jeff Gannon interviewed Ambassador Joseph Wilson and supposedly asked him about an internal memo relating to Valerie Plame. No matter how you slice or dice this story, this man is mysterious, and a hard mystery man is good to find. The gay community doesn’t know what to make of Mr. Gannon and he doesn’t know what to make of us. It is a mutual love/hate relationship. It is hard to get inside this man’s head, as he speaks in sound bytes and has the amazing talent of making you feel he has answered a question, when in reality, he has not. He could very easily be the next Tony Snow, which I would love to see, especially if Jeff Gannon would perform his press secretary duties while donning a jock strap. Jeff is working on a new book entitled "Hating Jeff Gannon."

Below is my man on man hot verbiage action with Mr. Mysterious.

JJ: Reading your blog, it seems that you might be even more conservative than George W. Bush.

JG: I believe that I am more conservative than George W. Bush. However, it is important to note that he has had to govern, which often necessitates political compromise, I had not had to make any such concessions.

JJ: What concessions?

JG: Bush’s position on illegal immigration is a perfect example of a political compromise. A true conservative would have built a border fence, dug a moat and stationed troops on the border long ago.

JJ: Are you more aligned with Bush or Cheney?
JG: That’s a tossup, since I find few distinctions between them. However, if I was forced to chose, I would say I am more in line with Cheney because I favor an aggressive expansion of our nation’s intelligence capabilities domestically and around the world.

JJ: You look like you could be Dick Cheney’s little brother….Do you think that the government should be able to monitor our phone calls, websites, perhaps our bowel movements?

JG: C’mon now, Cheney’s like 50 years older than me! I think that the government has an obligation to monitor communications that could reveal a plot to murder millions of Americans. Monitoring bowel movements? I’ll leave that to some of the gay bloggers, that’s much more their style.

JJ: Much has been made about your frequent visits to the White House and the lack of oversight. Why so much freedom, and what were you doing with yourself?

JG: That’s all just nonsense. Believe it or not, the Secret Service does shoddy record-keeping when it comes to reporters’ comings and goings. There was never anything improper between me and anyone at the White House. As far as being there when there wasn’t a briefing, there were other events that I covered, like a speech to a group like recipients of faith-based initiative funding or the unveiling of the Clinton portraits. Sometimes I went there to get background information for a story I was working on. I worked there!

JJ: It must have been a bit of a come down after spending the day with the A-Team, to then hang out with the run of the mill homos at night.

JG: I didn’t spend much time with the “run of the mill homos” as you say. I was very serious about my job as a reporter, columnist and talk show host and didn’t have much time for that even if I was inclined to do that – which I was not.

JJ: What is a Christian?

JG: Christian is a term used to describe a broad range of those who believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God. I think of myself at an Evangelical Christian and regularly attend a Pentecostal church.

JJ: When I think of Pentecostals, I think of speaking in tongues and snake handlers.
JG: No snakes, no tongues. I know we’re trying to be light, but that is insulting. Pentecostals believe they experience the power of the Holy Spirit at various times. I believe that also since I have experienced it first-hand. It’s not something that can be easily explained.

JJ: Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?
JG: I absolutely believe in Heaven and Hell. They’re just like what the Bible says they are.


JJ: Who were some of your White House journalist buds?

JG: Actually, Helen Thomas and I always got along well. I still see her from time to time. Even though we have vastly different points of view, we have great respect for each other.

JJ: Is their a journalistic hierarchy in the White House Press Corps?

JG: There is indeed a journalist hierarchy. I spend a bit of time talking about that in my book. There were no bloggers at the White House when I was there. They only got in after I left in February 2005.

JJ: Would you say you opened the doors for the new media and do you think it will soon be the media of choice?

JG: I am absolutely responsible for opening the doors to the press briefings for the New Media. I’m not sure when the New Media will replace the Old Media, but it will be sooner than later.

JJ: I want to mention some “old media” journalist and pop culture figures and get your opinion. Anderson Cooper.

JG: Being Gloria Vanderbilt’s son explains a lot.

JJ: Rita Cosby.

JG: Nice lady, too bad about having to go to MSNBC, it’s where news show hosts go to die.

JJ: Bill O’Reilly.

JG: Kicks Olbermann’s a**

JJ: Howard Stern.

JG: A media pioneer, but not my kind of humor.

JJ: Matt Lauer.

JG: Where in the world is Matt Lauer and why are we looking for him anyway?

JJ: Mary Hart.

JG: Is she still around?

JJ: Rev. Ted Haggerd.

JG: He says that he’s “a liar and a deceiver.” I probably can’t add much to that.

JJ: The Scissor Sisters.

JG: I have no idea who that is.

JJ: What is your beef with gay people?

JG: I have issues with liberals, which includes many gay people. I have found some liberal gays to be extremely intolerant of other points of view.

JJ: Are you intolerant of liberal points of view?

JG: Absolutely not. I enjoy competing in the marketplace of free ideas.

JJ: You do hang out with gay people don’t you?

JG: I haven’t done much hanging out in the past few years, gay or otherwise.

JJ: Could you ever fall in love with a Democrat?

JG: I’m sure I could fall in love with a Democrat as easily as a Republican. Some things transcend politics.

JJ: Do you think people perceive you as a gay man?

JG: I don’t know about most people, but those who know me best see me in a different light.

JJ: Do you think the gay community misunderstands you?

JG: I don’t think I can answer that question without a long and laborious explanation. I don’t think that I have been treated kindly or fairly by a certain portion of the gay community. Most of the rest don’t know what to make of me. On the occasions that I have had the opportunity to present myself to the community, I have gotten a positive response. For example, my appearance on a panel at the Equality Forum in May changed a lot of opinions about me.

JJ: Are you a sexual adventurer?

JG: Not really.
JJ: I saw some photos of you pissing that seemed a bit adventurous.

JG: I’m sure the pictures you saw didn’t have my face on them.

JJ: Then how would you describe yourself sexually?

JG: Human.

JJ: Human is good, and very legal.

JJ: Are you a manscaper?

JG: Not really. Perhaps a bit of pruning from time to time, but no clear-cutting.

JJ: Are you a Daddy?

JG: If that term describes masculine, mature and confident, that is accurate.

JJ: So what kind of guys does Daddy like?

JG: I judge each person on individual merits.

JJ: Why did you have all the nude photos of you removed from the Internet?

JG: First of all, I disagree with your premise. There is so much misinformation floating around cyberspace that I wouldn’t put too much stock in any of it.

JJ: Does it bother you that other people put stock in it?

JG: I have come to understand what being a public person means. I don’t let things I can’t do anything about bother me.

JJ: What are your thoughts on the Democrats midterm wins?

JG: Republicans lost control of Congress because they strayed from the core conservative values that put them into the majority in 1994. If they return to the basic values that a majority of Americans share, they will regain power. If not, they won’t. The Democrats now need to govern for all Americans as well as deliver for their core constituencies. It will be difficult for them to do both.

JJ: Do you think there was a cover up with Mark Foley?

JG: Not in the least. Foleygate was a well-timed political hit. The Democrats’ screeching about Republicans’ failure to protect underage boys from sexual predators was particularly ironic because it was being done at the same time they were paying tribute to the original page-bender, Gerry Studds.
JJ: Do you think the 17-year olds who were e-mailing him knew the score?

JG: That’s the impression I get since computer-savvy 17-year olds are probably quite sexualized.

JJ: What is it about Valerie Plame that rubs you the wrong way ?

JG: Valerie Plame is a third-rate analyst married to a proven liar. The two of them perpetrated a fraud on the American people with their nonsense about her “outing.” She wasn’t “outed” any more than I was. Washington, DC is a small town and it’s a company town.

JJ: Okay, now let’s play softball, are you a beer or cocktail man?

JG: I drink a lot of everything; beer while watching football. I have a taste for whiskey, but Jack Daniels and Ginger is about as fancy as it gets with me.

JJ: How many electrical outlets do you have in your house?

JG: Too few, since I have four power strips in my workspace.

JJ: Jeff, you are clearly trying to avoid this question. I repeat, how many electrical outlets do you have in your house?

JG: There are privacy considerations here. Have you no decency, sir?